Living Falling Down

I am an addict.

It’s hard for me to admit, but I feel that it is important to share with those around me who can help lead me from temptation. If left to my own devices, I’ll succumb to the terrible pleasure and take hit after hit. Then, once the high has worn off, I’m left in a sea of guilt and self loathing.

CURSE YOU BLUEBERRY STREUSEL MUFFINS!

With their nice, flaky tops and warm, melted blueberries I can’t resist them. Just the smell alone is enough to drive me into a nom-craving fit. Next thing i know, I’m in some alleyway somewhere with a baking pan and batter sharing spatulas with Little Debbie and Aunt Jemima.

it’s a terrible habit, but how could anyone resist the pull of freshly baked muffins? WHO, I ASK?! WHO?!

I tried presenting the muffins with a sensible Cease and Desist Notice, but their representative has yet to contact me. They’ve also blatantly refused to obey the restraining order, which shows to me a total and complete lack of decency on their part. If any muffins are reading this, I’m asking politely that you leave me be. My thighs will thank you.

You can, however, leave me the number to your associate Cinnamon Bun. I love that guy.