Living Falling Down

I do not consider myself to be a fangirl. Yes, there are celebrities I would like to meet, and I would probably squeal like a prepubescent girl if I ever got the chance to do so,  but I don’t think I’ve crossed that dangerous line to fall into fangirldom.

Now, for those of you who are not aware, the fangirl (note: one word, NOT fan girl. A fan girl is that girl in a harem that’s responsible for holding and waving the giant palm frond.) is a delicate creature who borders that line between normalcy and madness. She typically has chosen a person or subject of interest to fixate herself upon and has dedicated a great portion of her time into either researching said subject or explaining/celebrating her fixation to others. These are the girls that spend seven hours a day on a Twilight/Harry Potter/Anime/Jonas Brothers chat forum recounting in great detail the last time they had a dream about so-and-so marrying them and having an insane amount of children. These are also the girls who follow celebrities (and bands in particular) from place to place showering them with gifts and personalized affection. You know that girl at the concert that threw her panties on the stage? THAT is a fangirl.

Now that isn’t to say that all fangirls are obsessed to the point of throwing their underoos at some stranger who’s face has been plastered all over their bedroom, or that the somewhat more elusive “fanboy” isn’t guilty of the same level of “enthusiasm”, but there is a point for girls where that line between reality and fantasy becomes a bit blurred. It’s one thing to LIKE a celebrity or popular story like Harry Potter, and another thing entirely to decide that you’re going to stalk a singer by posting pictures of yourself on the windshield of their tour bus or start planning out your hollywood wedding to Ron Weasley (note: not Rupert Grant, I’m talking about a fantasy wedding to the character).

The sad fact of the matter is that celebrities have neither the time nor the inclination to put themselves at risk of incarceration to start or maintain a relationship with what is most likely a twelve-to-fourteen year old girl. Realistically, we should be thankful to those who go out of their way to sign autographs, take pictures and talk to their fans, to give them some sort of mental or physical memento to remember their time with someone they admire, because not only are they not required, they are usually not recommended to do so. Allow me to explain: When I was a young girl I used to live next door to a record producer, who shall remain nameless, and frequently met and spent time with their famous clients, who shall also remain nameless. I met my share of bodyguards, managers and publicists and as a result I picked up one very important piece of knowledge: While celebrities usually love their fans and would like nothing better than to sit down and have long interactions with them, the people who work for those celebrities are incredibly wary of them. Actually, it’s their job to be wary – they are responsible for watching out for the fangirls and fanboys who take the obsession too far and become a danger. For a fangirl a picture left on a tour bus windshield is just a token of their affection, to a publicist that is a photo of someone who managed to get past security and leave something on the traveling home of their client. Imagine if someone broke into your house and left a picture of themselves on your fridge with the note “I <3 YOU!” in bright red letters. You’d probably call the cops and change your locks.

So while there is nothing wrong with being a fan – it’s something I enjoy and share with my friends – it’s important to remember that celebrities are PEOPLE who deserve respect and privacy.

And to the twelve year old girl on the David Cook Official fan forum who was asking David if he would post a video of himself taking a shower: STOP IT. You’re creeping me out.

Also, David Cook rocks. That is all.